Fun with Credit Card Companies

Like you, Jonny is annoyed with all of the unsolicited credit card offers I receive in the mail. I have one credit card, and I have had it since 1996. So you would think that the Capital One's and the WAMU's of the world would eventually figure out that I have never responded to one of their offers, and that they are wasting their money and our mutual time sending me this shit? But since they don't appear to be listening, I decided to try to have a little fun with them. If I have to waste my time sifting through their shit and destroying it whenever it arrives in the mail, I might as well waste a little more of their time (and a few more cents of their money) and see if I can entertain myself in the process.

I stole the idea from the guys over at BigStack.com / WestonPoker.com. As time goes on I'm sure I'll come up with more creative and funnier ways to fuck with them, but here's v1.0.

This particular offer pissed Jonny off more than most, because they sent it in an oversized brown envelope and even inserted a sheet of bubble wrap, presumably to make this particular piece of shit-mail seem larger, thicker, and therefore more important(?). Or maybe they were worried that the documents would be damaged in transit and therefore needed packing material to make sure that they arrive safely. Regardless, I wrote them a courteous note on the bubble wrap in which I thanked them for the free entertainment. We all love popping bubble wrap, right? Then I stuffed it all back in their prepaid envelope and shipped it off to them in the mail (on their dime, of course).

I have a couple more such pieces of shit-mail on my desk and I'm trying to think of what to do for v2.0. Any ideas are welcome. Just keep in mind that my intent is just to give some poor slob working in a mailroom somewhere a giggle, and at the same time to piss off the stuffed-shirt that reigns over his miserable life. The point is that I'm not trying to rebel against The Man, create social/civil unrest, or attract the interest of the BATF or FBI. This ain't Fight Club kids. I doubt anyone other than the mail guy will ever see my handiwork, but I had fun with it.